sandra_4677 | Heavy November

November is heavy. It's like a boulder sitting on my chest. This happens every Fall, but there is not much that can be done about it. I love Autumn for so many reasons, but my depression loves it too. I spend the entire weekend in my apartment and I am ashamed of that. I was quite desperate for human interaction that I actually went to Wal-Mart tonight. Yes, how sad is that? I needed to be around people so badly that I went to buy some candy at a store that I loathe. "Why Wal-Mart?", you ask. It is the only place I can go w/o any make up on and still be more attractive than most of the people there. I give my self-esteem a boost any way I can get it!

So, there I was in the candy aisle, with three other women. We are all starring at the chocolate as though it's sexiest man we had ever seen. We are carefully glancing over each shelf for that perfect fix. You can tell a great deal about someone by what is in their grocery cart. Mine contained Dove dark chocolate. I added some Oreo's, Ben & Jerry's, and some Twinkies. I don't even fucking like Twinkies! My low blood sugar & self-deprecation were certainly the ones doing my shopping tonight.
On my way to the check out, and suddenly stopped. "You weirdo. You cannot go to the check out with this. The girl behind the check out counter will judge you and realize how pathetic you are." Yes, we ALL know them, right? The bitches and pricks that judge every blessed thing they scan, but have NO clue the actual names for fresh produce! They scan the Twinkies and the Creme Brulee Egg Nog, and then give you a look of sheer pitty. I do not want to deal with this bullshit, so I added some milk... and some carrots & celery.
" Victory is mine.